Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
