I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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