I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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