And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
this is an emotional support booty call
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
