Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
