I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
