he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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