I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize