stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize