end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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