We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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