Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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