Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i think im in europe. pls send help
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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