I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
