He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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