Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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