i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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