i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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