Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize