if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
