she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
