anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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