so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
