Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
