Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
