I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
