Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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