also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
