i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
