Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
