The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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