Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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