I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
