Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
