I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize