Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
