6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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