Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
