well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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