I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
