We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
