went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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