College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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