you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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