When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
