he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
