im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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