i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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