I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
