I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
