bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
