votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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