A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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