I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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