I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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