**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
