Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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